angel

When I was younger, I used to suffer from unexplained blackouts.
I was warned to try and fight them when I felt it happening, after having had a rather nasty one
when my heart stopped and I was heading for another dimension. Luckily that particular one,
I happened to be outside the doctor`s surgery, and my parents were with me.
I had just been to see the doctor for a routine blood test, I was on the way to our car when I went down.
I have at least seven people to thank - because without them, I would not be here today to tell my story.

1. My Dad who put me in the recovery position and used rescusitation techniques learned in the army...
2. My Mum who ran inside to get the doctor
3. Doctor Ted Lancaster who fought to bring me round and took me inside
4. My "Rainbow Angel", (see my spirits pages)
5.my Grand Mother (mum`s mum),6. my Grand father (dad`s dad) 7. Toyta
who were all on "the other side" to send me back.

I could feel myself being spiritually turned away from the inviting blue light I could see,
and could hear voices telling me to go back, then I felt an overwhelming surge of energy forcing
me back - at the same time as a feeling of being "tugged at" from the other side.
Then I started to come round. The only way I can describe that feeling was, I felt like I was on two different dimensions. On one I was being forced back into the other, and from the other side I felt like I was being
pulled back. It was like an almighty "Jump" back into my physical body.
At first I couldn`t remember much about what had happened. My head was thumping,
I felt sick and was shivering. I was also feeling wet and I had no shoes and socks on.
I could remember having seen the doctor and being on my way to the car, after that I couldn`t remember
anything but the feeling of being tugged at, and the sight of the faces of the people who had gathered round,
all looming over me looking down at me on the ground!. Then I could hear the doctor ask everyone to
move away then he carried me inside and placed me on the couch. What seemed like hours later,
I was allowed to go home. I had to go back to see the doctor a few weeks later.
Then he told me...and I then realised what I had experienced...
My heart had stopped and I had died. I had collapsed outside the surgey, and hit my head on a small wall
and the pavement as I went down. It was raining, I was only partially under cover so I got a bit wet.
My shoes and socks were removed to get my reflexes as I came round. If my parents hadn`t been with me
that day, there would have been no one else around to raise the alarm in time. I was then told if I felt
any more blackouts coming to try and stay concious, as they were now life threatening.
( mostly I would get a warning, my eyes would see everything in negative and my ears would cave in and ring.
That time I just felt faint, aparently called out "I`m going" and collapsed. )
I have had one more bad black out since that day, I will tell you about it later...

One day I had another miraculous escape from a potentially fatal incident, this time I was at work.
I worked in a sweet shop/newsagent, Christmas was coming and We were taking in a delivery of large
chocolate bars, 24 bars to a case. It was such a large hurried delivery, we were short staffed,
and the boxes were being temporarily and hastily incorrectly stacked. Needless to say that suddenly the mountain of chocolate toppled over, and I was right in it`s line of fire!. I could hear my colleagues screaming , but could do nothing, it was too quick. I don`t know how, but the cases seemed to go right over the top of me when I should have been flattened. I was left standing in the middle of them all, not one had touched me. It was as though I had a protective shield over the top of me. My friends were digging me out and I knew they feared the worst, but I could neither move nor talk!. When they found me alive and well, they were astounded, and all talked of my "miracle"
for months after. (Being rather too fond of that particular brand of chocolate all my life, I often joked it would be the death of me... how close it came... but it hasn`t put me off ...lol!). It was this day when I learned about Toyta.
I had my bicycle chained up across the road from the shop, outside a church. Later that day, as I was getting ready to cycle home, a little old man came out of the church and straight over to me. He placed his hand on my head and said " My dear, do you know you have an angel standing next to you?, he`s an Asian Indian Prince in a blue silk outfit, complete with a ruby on his forehead, his name is Toyta and he is your very own guardian...He is shrouded in a blue light, you may see the light sometimes, but you will only see your angel when the time is right. God Bless you", and he walked away. It was then that I realised just what had happened that day, and I will never forget.
I also realised what the blue light must have been about, the day I collapsed outside the doctors!
There was also a female spirit at the shop who I was sensitive to, and I also have my "Rainbow Angel"
(see my spirit pages) I believe they were also helping that day. I have been told about Toyta by several
mediums who have all give me the same name and description, and I have been told by them that I will
see him in or as a blue light ... I am also going to see my "Rainbow Angel" in a blue light...

Update... I have since found out that it was actually "Spectrum", my Soulmate/head guide who had been responsible for the chocolate missing me at the shop. Toyta had been there too and had shown himself to the man at the shop, but I have Spectrum to thank for the chocolate not hitting me.
Thankyou My Rainbow Angel... My Hero XXX

One of my favourite hobbies is Horse Riding.
My friend`s uncle had a pony, and we were invited to go and ride her.
Unfortunately, my friend put the wrong saddle on her, which was a tiny bit too big. It looked fine
and because I hadn`t ridden Beauty before, I didn`t know it wasn`t her saddle.
( although personally I prefer riding bareback).
It was my turn to ride, I got into a canter and suddenly the saddle slipped and I ended up upside
down underneath while Beauty was still trying to accellerate into a gallop!.
I had to let her have her head so she didn`t stumble and crush me, while I tried to either get back on top
or let go and hope she passes me safely...but the saddle was slipping towards her hind quarters, and was in danger of slipping over her legs causing almost certain stumbling. I braced myself and got ready to fall
and roll away, hoping Beauty can save herself. Suddenly everything seemed to slow down,
I felt myself rotating and somehow the saddle and me were back on top where we should be!.
There were people watching, who said they hadn`t realised what was happening, and one person walking
past the field, had stopped to watch, as they thought I was practising a stunt ride and clapped at me
managing to do it!!! I can only put it down to yet another feat by my Guardian Angel,
as I hadn`t done this by myself! Thanks again Toyta...

Back to the sweet shop.
We were having a shop refit, and were putting up new metal shelving units in the stock rooms.
I was holding onto one unit, while it was being screwed to the wall. From behind, we heard a creaking noise,
and before we had time to react, another unit, which had already been partially loaded with goods, toppled
over and came hurtling towards us. Two friends were right in the doorway and got out. One was in a corner
just out of harms way, I was right in the middle where the shelving was about to land. I don`t know how,
but I felt like I was being held to the spot where I was standing, so even if I had time I wouldn`t have been
able to move. I closed my eyes and waited to be hit. There was some awful noise of twisting metal and
crashing and creaking as it all fell to the ground, then silence. I opened my eyes and realised I was still
standing exactly where I was, and the shelving was all around me. I was standing inside one of the "squares" which made up the units, unharmed and untouched. An inspection later revealed that although we had been
told that particular unit had already been screwed to the wall, it didn`t have enough screws in place, the weight of the goods on it made it come away from the wall. The incredible thing was that when they stood it up, it
hadn`t just fallen away from the wall, but had also shifted over 2 feet from where it originally stood... if it had
just fallen straight, it wouldn`t have missed me!. I have a pretty good idea how it managed to "walk" as it fell...
Thanks again Toyta, my Rainbow Angel, and the shop spirit :-)

Perhaps the worst experience of my life, one which really scared me beyond belief,
was the latest time Toyta and, my Rainbow Angel had helped to save me...
I worked early morning shift, part time, at a local supermarket. My children were only 2 and 4 years old.
It was a monday morning in mid November, my thoughts were on Christmas and making it a good one for the Children. It was 6.55 AM, I was making my way down the staff stairway, ready to clock in at 7AM.
A friend was with me, she suddenly stopped, turned round and ran back up the stairs...
I turned to see what was going on, when out of nowhere, a very very dark man, wearing a balaclava and camouflaged army jacket- the same as my dad used to wear- grabbed hold of me and shoved a huge machette against my throat. (My friend had seen him coming because she was on a higher step than me, and was looking over the top of me. Because I was looking behind me, talking to her, I didn`t see him.) At first he tried to make
me go downstairs, where I could see several other colleagues tied up on the floor, the next thing he changed
his mind, nearly snapping me in half forcing me to turn round and go back up the stairs, he was going to go
after my friend - who he had realised had gone back up and could get help if he doesn`t stop her!
At that point he panicked and became increasingly aggressive and angry that she had escaped him,
and was shoving me into doorways and walls desperately looking for her, all the while I could feel the
machette against my throat, I thought I was going to die for sure that day.
It seemed like hours, but in fact was only about 4 minutes later, we reached the last doorway,
he dragged me inside shouting abuse and threats, saying he`ll "get her". But it was the staff restaurant,
which he must have thought was a dead end. By this time I was beginning to pulpitate and couldn`t think or
see straight. I thought he had finished me off there & then, as when I felt the machette come away from my
throat and he physically shoved me into the room- I began to feel a bit light headed,
I was sure I could see a bright blue light forming around me and sense a "presence" within it.
Then I heard him yell "don`t move, I`m coming back", and suddenly there was a commotion. I hadn`t realised someone else was in the restaurant, until I saw a figure jump up and run after the madman...
I heard yelling and crashing of feet down the stairs, then silence.
I then noticed the two ladies who work in the restaurant, peeking over the counter where they had taken refuge.
I realised I was alive, and I remember shouting "he`s got a knife and says he`s coming back",
so we all ran down the back stairway, through the warehouse, taking everyone we found on our way to get
them to safety ( there were still night workers and earlier shifts, who knew nothing about the commotion,
they thought there was a fire or something!) we ended up in the computer control room and boarded
ourselves in, then contacted the police. Once in there, I wondered what had happened to the people
who were tied up, my friend who ran away, and the mystery person who chased the madman...
I still didn`t know who it was, if he was alright or even his name, I had never met him as we worked different shifts, but I will never forget the look on his face as he realised what was going on and immediately jumped
in to my rescue, regardless of his own safety... Later people gradually began arriving at the room,
word got round, the tied up staff and my runaway friend were found and brought to the room too.
The whole store was brought to a stand still. Then we were all taken back to the staff restaurant, assured the madman had gone, where we were questioned by the police and checked out by the paramedics.
It was then It hit me fully and I broke down. I had to be taken home in no fit state to work. My friend had a high blood pressure count and was taken to hospital suffering from shock. She had actually been in one of the rooms he looked in, she was hiding under the manager`s desk petrified he would find her.
All the women were in tears and shaking. The next day I had to physically force myself to return to work,
I knew if I didn`t go straight back, I would never leave my flat again. Hardly anyone else was there, most of the people involved the day before were off, including the two from the staff restaurant - even though they were
not even directly involved, the shock had got to them too. I then found out that the person who chased the madman away was Wayne, a night worker who was having his break. He chased him out of the store and almost caught him, but he got away. ( Thanks Wayne). Then I heard the full story. There were actually two madmen.
They had practically followed me into the staff lobby when I arrived that morning ( no security that time of day) then they tied up the receptionist, and anyone else they came across. They didn`t expect so many staff that
time of day, and panicked when us early shift started arriving in droves. They actually wanted the manager,
who wasn`t even there yet... they were trying to rob the store of the weekend takings, and the other one
actually got away with it while I was being dragged about by his pal!
We were given one group session to talk about it, it wasn`t enough and I ended up going to extensive councilling sessions with Victim Support ( Thank You Beryl and Mary for all your help). I was still very nervous and started suffering from depression, and we ended up selling our flat and moving well away from the area twice,
and even today, I still get very jumpy and nervous easily.
Thinking about that day makes me depressed. I think the worse part was the fact he wore the same sort of
jacket my Dad used to wear. Before that day, if I saw someone wearing one, I could imagine my dad`s face...
now if I see one, all I can "see" is that madman and that machette, he not only robbed the store of money,
he robbed me of my memories of my dad, and I will never get over that. To make matters worse, Mum had
given my husband dad`s jacket as he`s the same size, I can`t let him wear it now and have to keep it out
of sight, otherwise I get a panic attack when I see it.
However, I owe my life to Neil, and Toyta as well, I am sure he was there. I owe my sanity to Victim Support
and my new doctor who finally got me help and medication I needed for the depression after we moved.
I am also sure my Rainbow Angel and others also helped. Thanks everyone.