NEXT DAY Jacky phoned and we had a nice long chat, she is really nice. She read the story as she has written it, just a small change had to be made where there was a bit of confusion over Toyta and my "Rainbow Angel". Jacky thought they were the same one so I told her Rainbow Angel is not Toyta, he is someone else. She guessed then he is Spectrum, the guide I was talking about at the castle. I said yes that`s him, and she changed the words. Then she said something that made me sit up and take note... she said she has a feeling her guides and mine are planning something for her and me, and will tell me more when she figures it out! Spectrum has already told me Jacky will feature in my future, so now i`m curious..... SOME TIME LATER WOW! Today at development circle was really amazing. No one else could make it so it was just my sister in law`s mum (the circle leader) and me. Nothing happened until Afterwards, when my sister in law`s mum was making coffee. Suddenly I could hear Al telling me to tell her something. He kept saying it and insisting I told her. It was a message from someone I guessed she knew, as I hadn`t a clue who or what it was all about. It took me a while to say it to her, I wasn`t entirely sure if I was really getting the message and didn`t want to say in case it was imagination, but Al was getting quite insistant and kept saying it. I am going through one of those times when I doubt myself, so I was hesitant about it. Eventually I gave in and said to that I had to tell her something my guide was saying to me. I told her and as I said it she turned white and looked shocked. I began to worry in case I was wrong or something. Then she said to sit down so she can explain. She went on to tell me something personal that had recently happened to a friend. It turned out it was the friend giving Al the message for me to pass to her. I had the name slightly wrong but being a beginner she was really pleased with my ability to receive the message and pass it on. Then she phoned the friend`s family to tell them, she said I had the name a tiny bit wrong but that what I told her made sense and needed to be passed on to them. She asked me to tell the person on the phone what I received, I told it as I had got it. Aparently it made a big difference and helped the family a lot. Later Al told me I did well and helped the spirit a lot too, so this was my second "spirit client" and the reason I won`t give any names or details. Later at home my sister in law`s mum phoned. She said she has been talking to someone else in the family of the spirit from earlier. They told her although his name was slightly different to the one I received, he actually didn`t like his name and preferred to be called by the name I got, so he would have come through as what I said!. She told me she thinks I should to go to the spiritualist church with her, and maybe sit with her when she does readings to see if I get anything... gulp!!!  JACKY`S COURSE I have found out Jacky`s course has been postponed until next year. Aparently the venue had advertising problems and there were not enough people signed up. I hope it does go ahead though as I can`t afford to lose £70... they are crafty as there are no refunds under any circumstances. This is their problem yet we lose out if it gets cancelled altogether!. 2 WEEKS LATER Spectrum has been telling me I have to start writing the book I started nearly 24 years ago. As it was loosely based on us it was too painful to do so I left it. A few mediums have already told me he wants me to finish it, but I never got around to it. Now he is telling me so I guess I should get started!. 3 DAYS LATER I decided I would see if I can use my amethyst pendulum I brought at the castle. I made myself a card with arrows pointing to "Yes" and "No" and set it up on the kitchen table. The pendulum started moving straight away and it was Spectrum. He answered a few questions and I feel better now. I was beginning to wonder if I am really meant to be doing this, seeing as I can`t get anywhere at the moment. He told me I am and I will become a medium. I asked about the book and he confirmed he wants me to write it. But I can`t find what I have already written so will have to start again. I also tried the angel cards again, I keep getting the same thing about new beginnings, a loved one in Heaven and all things that are appropriate, it`s amazing! MAGAZINE Jacky has had my Toyta story printed in "Woman`s Own". We have been emailing each other, and Jacky says she feels we will end up working together one day. She doesn`t know where, when or how but she often has to come to Wales so it will probably be when she does!. I told her I can`t see me doing what she does, but she said her guides are telling her otherwise. I told her about the book I started, I told her I don`t even know if it`s meant for publication or how to go about it. She said that`s how she felt with her first book but it will all fall into place. MY BOOK I have been working on my book. It has been pretty hard to do and painful in parts as it`s based in a way on Spectrum and me, so obviously there are bits in it I don`t like to think about, like him dying!. I am being led to write it as fiction, so have had to change names, place names and Spectrum`s profession etc, but it`s similar to our story. It`s funny as it seems to be working as a kind of therapy or healing process, now I know his death was not the end of us, it has been easier to write about than I thought it would be. Maybe it`s not meant for publication, I don`t know yet, but I am getting on great with it. I have already thought of a couple of possible titles, designed a possible cover, and thought of a "pen name" for me, but that still might change as i`m not 100% happy with it. I have tried to write bits without Spectrum`s inspiration, and it all went wrong and I lost what I added or had to delete it, so just wasted my time. I know now I have to do it when he says and gives me inspiration and information to add! I think i`m being made to have a break at the moment. LLANCAIACH FAWR Today we went to Llancaiach Fawr Manor House near Caerphilly. It`s a known haunted location that has been on "Most Haunted". Unfortunately it is a bank holiday and there were too many people to be able to "tune in" properly or look around on our own. But while in certain rooms I did feel like I was being watched, and not by the other people in there. I also felt like a child pulling my sleeve when my two were nowhere near me. I felt it wanted me to go in the next room, and when I got there I realised that was the room where Derek Acorah on Most Haunted had picked up on children playing, jumping up and down on the stairs and watching people. I felt a strong attraction to the stairway but it was blocked off with woven baskets, so I took a photo. I am sure there is a small child standing on the top wearing a flat cap, waistcoat and short trousers, like they used to wear!. In the "study" I felt another presence, and felt sure I heard a man say "I`m the colonel". If I remember rightly Derek also picked up on a colonel, a housekeeper and a visiting king!. I didn`t sense the other two. Before we left the house I went back into the information area and found out it was owned by Colonel Edward Pritchard, he had a housekeeper and children and a king used to visit. I hadn`t read any of the information before going in as I wanted to see what I could pick up myself and felt it would be cheating. There are "Orbs" in some of my photo`s as well as the childlike figure at the top of the stairs. I would love to go back there again on a day when they are not so busy, I would also like to take one of their "ghost tours". ST. FAGANS Today we went to "The Museum Of Welsh Life" at St Fagans near Cardiff. I felt like I was being watched by unseen eyes and followed by unseen person/s. I can`t find out anything about whether it is haunted or not, the leaflets don`t say and there`s nothing on the internet about it. But I definately felt activity in some of the old buildings, felt my arm being tugged in one of the old terrace houses, and like I was being "escorted" or "guarded", I even heard a sound like "chain mail / armour"!. When I put my photo`s onto the computer, I noticed in places I felt I was being watched or escorted, there is a figure with either a skull-like face, or it could be a helmet, and "he" seems to be holding a staff or something. He is in several photo`s at various locations, so that corresponds to the feeling of him in different parts like he was following or escorting me. In the old terrace house, when I felt something behind me I turned round and took a photo, in that photo everything is in focus, but there is a blurry shape where it would have been right behind me if I hadn`t turned round!. In the farmhouse bedroom where I felt my arm tugged towards the bed, there is an "orb" on the bed!. I am sure there are spirits there even if they don`t publicise it!. TOYTA STORY I got an email from Jacky today, another magazine wants to use my Toyta story as already featured in "Woman`s Own"!. She will let me know more when she speaks to them next week. VENALLT IRONWORKS For some time now, my daughter and her friends have been telling me about the old ironworks ruins at the top of the village. They say it`s haunted but I can`t find out anything about it. Today I decided to go up there with my daughter to see if I could pick anything up. There wasn`t a great deal "going on", until we got to this old brick structure that looks like some sort of chimney or furnace. I could feel a definate energy there. I called for Al to come forward to help and then said if there was a spirit person there, I am not any threat and want to be a friend. Would they please show themselves. I took a photo and in that photo there is a moving "orb" and also a blurry shape. The shape could just be a trick of the light but the orb is definately activity. I had a sense of sadness and feel the need to try and discover more about the place. Later on I meditated and for the first time in ages actually made a decent connection. Spectrum told me there is a spirit there who is grounded, he doesn`t know how to move on. Aparently he died there after an accident and didn`t know he had died, once he realised, he couldn`t find a way out. Spectrum gave me the name of "P*** M**** ( I`m not giving the name because I am still trying to find out more, and if this spirit is going to become a client / rescue I won`t be using his name. I also am still not 100% sure I picked it up right so don`t want to name someone and find I am wrong). I have to first try and find out about the place before I can help P***, so it`s a case of "watch this space"!. CONFIRMATION I DO HEAR SPIRIT I feel it is important to put this in, but for personal reasons I am not going to give all the details or any names. A while ago I sent off for something relating to Spectrum. I received it with something else and my cheque back. It turned out the item was being sold by one of his family and not the people I thought it was. I thought getting the cheque back was a mistake so I sent another one. I kept checking my account to see if it had been cashed, worried it may not have arrived. Everytime I checked my account, Spectrum said something about it to me. Going through another stage of doubting myself, I half listened and half thought "surely not, why would he do that?!", so I kept checking my account but still the cheque wasn`t cashed. Then one day I went to visit other members of his family, the first thing said to me was exactly the same thing Spectrum had been saying!!!. When it was said to me, I heard Spectrum say "See?!"... Then I knew I was definately hearing spirit, but I could hardly tell them I already knew, how, or who told me!. Now I have a feeling the name I have for the ironworks is probably right. I don`t doubt Spectrum but have been doubting my own ability to hear correctly... this cheque thing has changed that!. UPDATE WOW!. It`s halloween this weekend, and St. Fagans museum has just been on tv advertising halloween activities they are having. They have been talking about parts of the museum that are haunted, and describing people`s experiences. Every part I felt and photographed activity in, is haunted, and other people have described the same things as me... so I was right! Also my Toyta story is going to be in the magazine which comes with "The Sunday People" newspaper on sunday PAGE 1 PAGE 2 PAGE 4