OUR STORY ...Introduction... Before I begin to tell you our story I feel it would be appropriate to explain that you are about to read of the eternal soulmate bond between "Spectrum" and "Rainbow". A chance encounter led to hopeful adoration from afar, except fate had other plans. But from tragedy came the most beautiful and intense soulmate bond you will ever encounter. We are Johnny and Karen, and our story proves we cannot be seperated, even by death. We currently work together in a spiritual partnership, keeping our bond intact until the day we are reunited forever... ...This is "Our Story"... It was sometime in the 1970`s. I had just spent a few days with my parents, two younger brothers, grand-mother, dog and budgie in our caravanette/camper van in the English countryside. We were on our way home to our three bedroomed council house in Twickenham, Outer London, but decided to stop off at a popular beauty spot known as "The Devil`s Punch Bowl", which is a huge crater type indentation in the ground. It was an old rather dated left hand drive van, which my father had for taking his Army Cadets to training camps and military events (he was Sergeant Major of The Queens Regiment Army Cadet Force based in Richmond, Surrey). However, the family did occasionally get to use it as well. Dad parked the van next to another caravanette and we all wanted to get out of ours to stretch our legs and get some fresh air. Looking back now I wished I had known what was about to happen. I was about 12-14 at the time, painfully shy and nervous around people I didn`t know. To my shame I was in a mess having just spent the day traipsing around the countryside. I had walked miles that day and was not feeling or looking at my best, my clothes were all tatty, my feet were sore, my legs were hurting and my long hair was all windswept. As Dad opened up the camper door, the dog, Susie, a little tan dog that often got mistaken for a fox because she was the right size and colour, jumped out of the van and I instinctively went after her- not thinking what I looked like at the time!. To my relief she hadn`t run off, and I sat on a large boulder facing the two vans, and watched as she ran around and enjoyed a little freedom whilst she was also staying close to the family. I noticed by now my dad was engrossed in conversation with another man, and they seemed to be discussing the vans. The other man then started to tell my dad about his son Johnny who was inside the other van, and I heard him mention what he was, where he was from, where he was going etc. It didn`t really interest me at the time, for he was telling my dad his son is a boxer and on his way to a fight... well, I was not interested in boxing so I didn`t take much notice after that. My dad was a boxing fan though and was very interested in hearing all about him, and enjoyed telling the man about his own boxing days in the army. I remember thinking how strange it was to hear someone mention in the middle of nowhere in England, a town in Wales where my parent`s friends lived. It turned out this family were from the same town as them and later I found out they knew Johnny. Suddenly this beautiful fluffy white dog came out of the other van and straight over to Susie. The two of them seemed to like each other and began to play, but a lady (who turned out to be Johnny`s mother) came out and started to call to the other dog apologising about him coming over, which was un-neccesary because it was nice to see them having fun. My mum started talking to Johnny`s mother, and my grand-mother took my brothers for a walk. I remained on the boulder watching the dogs, but I suddenly got the feeling someone was watching me. The feeling was extremely intense and I felt an irresistable urge to try and locate where the feeling was coming from. I followed my instincts and saw him standing in the open door of the other van, looking straight at me. Then our eyes met. He was a vision of someone I instantly "knew" even though I had never met him before, and immediately I knew I was looking at someone extremely special and precious to me personally. His gorgeous eyes were so dreamy and beautiful and I felt a deeply intense inner connection to him through them, it was as if I could "read" his eyes. (They say the eyes are the window to the soul, I now know that`s not too far off track!) It was his eyes that I "recognised" as belonging to someone I felt I knew intimately, and for me it was love at first sight, I was "knocked out"! But our eyes only met briefly, even though it felt our gaze lasted for ages, it was only a few seconds... when he realised I was looking his way he turned and ran inside the van, at the same time I looked away embarrassed both at the intensity of my immediate feelings for him and at looking such a mess!. But I still felt as if I was being watched, for some time afterwards! Eventually both families returned to the vans and went our seperate ways. I asked dad about all that he had been told and mentally kept a note of it all. When I got home I wrote it all down and from that day onwards I tried to follow Johnny`s career as much as I could. Unfortunately with him being based in Wales not all his fights were documented in English press, but I had sources in his hometown who would send me what they found in their papers! I knew he was someone very important to me, and although I was a huge Osmonds fan, it wasn`t one of them I wanted to marry, it was Johnny! (I remember a song called "Bobby`s Girl", most of my friends changed the words to "I wanna be Donny`s Girl", not me, I used to sing "I wanna be Johnny`s Girl"). However, my crippling shyness had been a barrier between us when we "met", if I hadn`t been so shy maybe I would have been able to at least say hello to him- but then I remembered his reaction when I looked at him and felt he probably wasn`t actually interested in me anyway! But I continued to follow his career and dream endlessly about him, there was just something about him I couldn`t resist, he had truly captivated me- heart, mind and soul, just by a fleeting glance... at the time I had no idea what it was all about, but I knew it went very very deep within!. I now know to what depths our bond actually goes... Johnny says we are like spiritual siamese twins, joined at the soul! Anyway, several months later my parent`s friends started asking why I was so interested in Johnny that I wanted all the newspaper clippings etc. When I told them, I was informed they knew him a bit and if I wanted they can tell him about me. I was horrified!... I felt that if he knew I was so totally in love with him it would put him off, so I pleaded for them not to tell him!. They thought it was quite funny, and said it was a passing phase and I would "get over it when I grow up!". These friends by the way were the sort of friends you grow up thinking are family, I always thought of them as auntie, uncle and cousins. My "cousins" were also Osmonds fans, and every time we played Donny`s "Puppy Love" the parents said it could easily be about Johnny and me. (Johnny would have been around 17-19 at the time I first saw him in the camper). My "family" often invited me to come to Wales and stay with them but it was a few years before I got around to it. One day I went out with "uncle" and we called into a shop only to see Johnny in there... it was his shop and I had been tricked by "uncle" into going in there!. Once again our eyes met and once again shyness almost killed me. This time it was my turn to run... I ran out of the shop before my legs gave in. When "uncle" caught up with me I apologised but asked if he had said anything to Johnny, he assured me he had only told him I was staying with him and was very shy ... I hope to this day that was true!. Anyway, I stayed with them a few more times afterwards and Johnny`s and my paths met accidentally a couple of times when I was out horse riding or walking and he was out running. I had no idea he would be there, in fact after seeing him somewhere once I would deliberately go to other parts, trying to avoid accidental meetings in case he thought I was "stalking" him. But he seemed to choose the same places, probably to vary his route. Sometimes he would smile shyly as he passed, the electricity in my veins whenever I saw him was overwhelming and I wished he felt the same! Once I went out into the mountains with my "uncle" and "cousins" and I`m sure I saw Johnny with other men running up and over the rough untamed territory. I watched from afar with my heart beating so hard it felt like it was going to burst any moment. (You must have heard of the term "Heart Throb", well Johnny certainly made my heart throb like crazy... in fact it felt like I had a boxer`s punch ball in my chest and he was sparring with it!. I still get the same feeling when he is near me or when we talk!) My legs turned to jelly as I watched him seemingly effortlessly outrunning them and leaving them behind! I don`t think he saw me up there, just as well really as I am sure he would have thought I was following him, which I wouldn`t have dreamed of doing. How I wished I had a camera then though, I never did get a chance to take a photo of him which I would have loved to do. My family and I have often visited the mountains since moving to Wales, I think I have been on the same one I saw Johnny on, but can`t be sure. It was so long ago, and I had no idea exactly where it was my "uncle" had taken me that time, I wish I knew for sure so I could be certain I am really retracing his footsteps!. I was already so in love with Johnny and I had regular vivid "dreams" about the two of us and prayed they would come true. My feelings for him inspired me to try and write a book based on the dreams and how I would have liked things to develop between us, If only...! (Something I always found amazing was the fact that ever since I was little, way before I knew about Johnny, I have always loved the names John and Owen. I always asked if I have a little brother can he please be named John?... well when I was 6 I got my first brother, sadly my parents chose a different name as there were already several Johns in the family, but they gave him John as his second name for me. My nan lived in a block of flats called "Owen House", every time we visited I was mesmerised by the name plaque on the wall, even though I couldn`t explain it, I knew even then it was something special. Johnny`s name is really John Owens, he took off the S for his professional name only, but even so, I first knew him as Johnny Owen!. This can only have been my intuition kicking in early!. Incidentally, my son`s second name is Owen in honour of my Johnny.) Anyway, one day "uncle" told me he couldn`t stand it any longer, he had told Johnny about me and that he was willing to meet me officially, but that first he had a very important fight coming up that he had to do before they arranged anything. This was the World Championship Title fight in America on 19th September 1980- 10 days after my 19th birthday, Johnny was 24. I was told that when he comes home, win or lose, they will work out when and where we can all get together- Johnny, me, our families and "uncle" and his family. "uncle" gave me an autographed photo which he said Johnny had given him for me, which I proudly displayed by my bedside and gazed at lovingly whenever I could. Whether "uncle" had really spoken to Johnny and he had said this, I will never know, (although Johnny has since told me it was true and I have no reason to doubt it) but "uncle" got the photo from somewhere and the idea of meeting my gorgeous hero properly at last was extremely exciting and I couldn`t wait!. But I have been worried ever since just how much had "uncle" told Johnny about me, so I asked Johnny and he said that "uncle" had told him I was a devoted fan and wanted to meet him, and he had agreed. He told me he was only expecting to meet me as a "fan", but said had the proper meeting actually happened he knows he would have wanted to meet again, because he already had feelings for me that he couldn`t explain! On the night of the fight mum and I were in an important darts match at the British Legion club. Many of our friends were lorry drivers like "uncle", and most were from Wales. There was an overnight lorry park next to the legion, so they would all park there for the night and use the club. They were in and out taking turns watching Johnny on TV in one room and watching mum and me on the oche in another!. I was a bag of nerves, I wanted to see Johnny on TV but I disliked boxing and couldn`t stand watching him fighting. It was him I loved, not what he was or the fact he was famous...I wouldn`t have cared if he wasn`t famous, he was all I ever wanted. (People often think I`m a boxing fan. I`m not, I`m a Johnny Owen fan, there`s a big difference and boxing has got nothing to do with it!. I don`t claim to be his number one fan (although I would love to) as that right belongs to his family- although I could claim to be their biggest contender ;-) But I do claim to be his eternal soulmate, that right is mine alone!. Somehow I managed to get through to the final match and was playing it when Johnny had got to the final round in his fight. But for some reason I began to feel rather uneasy but couldn`t make out why, I put it down to nerves. Suddenly I got a splitting headache and I felt faint, then all our friends cried out and the atmosphere just "dropped" through the floor... one by one they came in the room looking ashen and some were crying. I already knew something was very wrong, but when they told me Johnny was being rushed to hospital the most awful dread plummeted through me and I had the feeling all my worst nightmares were about to come true. I don`t know if you have ever felt a soulmate connection, but it is the most intense and powerful feeling you can ever get. I felt this with Johnny, I didn`t even have to be anywhere near him to feel it... although I still hadn`t known what it was. I believe to this day I was picking up on his vibes all the way from America and felt it when the fight went wrong and he fell to the floor, I felt like I was about to collapse and that was before I knew what happened. I don`t remember anything much after that, what happened with the darts (not that I even cared!), how I got home, what I did in the following weeks whilst my beloved lay in a coma on the other side of the world... everything is blank... all I remember is that all whilst Johnny was in the coma, my head felt like it was in a different dimension to my body! Then it happened, on 4th November 1980 I heard the news I had feared, Johnny died and all I wanted to do was join him. I know this sounds awful, I have lost many relations and friends and that hurt to the core, but when Johnny died the pain was multiplied beyond belief, I felt a huge part of me died with him. I was devastated and felt my whole world had collapsed. All while he had been alive and well I was able to "function" normally... but as soon as he died I lost the will to carry on, I felt the most important part of me was missing. That void remains and can only ever be filled by joining him, even now over 25 years later. Although I am married now I would give anything to be with him. If he was to come to me right now and tell me "It`s time" I would have no hesitation, I would go with him. But I have never been tempted to try anything silly... yes I have had many times of depression and suicidal thoughts, but Johnny and I both know that`s not the answer, "they" would only seperate us more and force us apart for longer than either of us are prepared to risk. So I will wait until he comes to collect me, which he promises he will do when the time finally comes... ( I have had three near death experiences since Johnny died, each time he sent me back because it wasn`t time for me to join him yet. ) The day after Johnny died I was invited into my friend`s house next door. Our houses were situated in a way that we shared a gate and path leading to the front doors, the front doors were almost facing each other at a gap of around 6 foot or so. I had never told any of my friends who Johnny was, even when they asked who I was singing about with "Johnny`s Girl" I wouldn`t say. I didn`t want to "share" him, they could have Donny, but not Johnny, he was mine! Anyway, I was sitting on the sofa in my friend`s lounge. I must have looked awful, I hadn`t slept properly since Johnny`s boxing accident, and now he had died I couldn`t pull myself together. My friend`s mum came into the room and looked at me then said "God Karen, cheer up, it might never happen!". I burst into tears, shouted "It already has" and ran out of the house into mine and upstairs to the privacy of my room, where I cried my eyes out for hours. Mum and I used Ouija sometimes to communicate with my grand-father who had been "guiding" me since he died when I was little. That night I asked mum if we could use it and ask grandad if he can find out if Johnny is okay... imagine how I felt when Johnny himself came through instead! We had a long "talk" and he told me he had "recognised" me that day in the camper. He said he had wanted to come out of the camper and say hello, but was too painfully shy himself!. More recently we were talking about the campers again (Johnny calls them "Motor Homes, and he uses the word "Saturn" a lot when talking about the one he was in, although I don`t know the significance of that yet!"), and I said to him "But you turned and ran inside, was I that scary?!... he replied "Don`t be soft, I told you I was shy. I sat inside watching you through the window instead, you took my heart with you that day!" He then went on to tell me what I had been wearing that day, he described my jumper, skirt and the colours perfectly... he even went as far as to mention the blue denim "Donny Osmond" cap I had been wearing, which I wore everywhere!. I didn`t have a huge wardrobe of clothes and those were the very things I often wore when we went out in the camper. I was amazed that not only had he noticed what I was wearing, but he remembered even after all these years. That proves he must have been looking through the window like he said, there was no way he would have had time to notice all that in the few seconds our eyes had met! Then I said "I wish I could remember what you were wearing". He replied "Close your eyes" I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was back in time, looking at him in the camper door. He was wearing a light grey sweat shirt and navy blue track bottoms. I opened my tearful eyes and described what I had seen. "Correct!" he said. He has also told me that the day I went in his shop he had known it was me, and that every time he saw me when he was running he would have liked to stop and talk to me but was still too shy. (Although really he shouldn`t stop once he built up his pace, he says he would have!) He also said he had been asking about me in the spirit world and found out we are soulmates, our paths were destined to meet! He told me he was taking over from Grandad and would be my head guide until we can meet again. He said he has been told this was what we had both agreed to before this incarnation- but I can tell you, had I "remembered" the pain of losing him, as in past lives, there would be no chance of me ever agreeing to it!. Even if it meant we never would have got together in this life, I would have preferred him to not have died, but as he did and with everything that has been revealed since, I am so proud to know him- and knowing he is with me forever is wonderful. I can`t even begin to imagine life without him, and can`t think of anyone I would rather have as my guide or eternal soulmate. Recently Johnny decided he would prefer to be known as my "Spiritual Coach", not "Spirit Guide". He said that will give our relationship a unique perspective since a person`s guide is usually just a guide, and he is more than just my guide- plus it also keeps his sporting image ;-) We are extremely close and very much in love. Once he said to me "Every day is a day closer to being together" to which I replied "Yes, you`re right" and couldn`t help smiling. But then he added "But the closer we are to being together, the harder it is to be apart"!... I said "I know J", and burst into tears... I cried for days, it is so true. We both want to be together so much sometimes the pain and waiting become unbearable, it is very hard not to just give in and take fate into my own hands!. But although we both want to be together, he reminds me that I have children and talks me out of doing something stupid for their sakes. Don`t worry, I`m not suicidal, but I love him more than life itself and it is very hard sometimes knowing we could so easily be together... if only!... ( I often say "if only" when talking to Johnny, he sometimes replies "it`s a big if", I need to try and find out if this has any significance or if there is a reason he says it!) On the day of Johnny`s funeral I wanted to go. My real uncle, dads brother, agreed to take mum and I there. But there were so many people and flowers and I felt I was intruding. Obviously his family knew nothing about me, why would they?, so we came away agreeing to try again in a few days time and leave his family and friends their privacy. We returned a couple of days later and I was able to finally grieve at the graveside and place my flowers nearby (there were thousands of flowers, it was very hard to find the grave!) I had all my scrapbooks and newspaper clippings with me so I could look at them on the journey. My uncle grew thirsty so we drove around and found a pub called "The Brewers Arms". My uncle was surprised at the strength of the beer and only drank a bit of it because he was driving! I don`t drink, mum and I had juice. There were only about three other people in the pub, the landlord and two men customers. They were talking about Johnny and I accidentally overheard them, I broke down and ran into the ladies toilets to cry in private. When I came out one of the men was talking to mum and my uncle, and aparently he had asked why I was so upset and mum had told him and shown him my scrapbooks. When he saw me coming he said he won`t be a minute and got up and went into another room. When he came back he gave me a piece of paper with an address and directions how to get there on it. He said he had phoned Johnny`s parents and told them about me, they wanted us to go and see them at their house! To this day I don`t know who that man was, for all I know he could even have been one of Johnny`s four brothers, but he helped me find the most wonderful friends I have ever had, Johnny`s family. He might never get to see this page but I still wish to thank him, with all my heart! Anyway, I was extremely nervous as we drove to their house. We couldn`t see any house numbers from the road but "somehow" we parked up right outside the very house we were looking for!. There was a lady walking past, mum asked her where Johnny`s house is and as she began to point it out for us, one of Johnny`s three sisters came out to meet us and take us inside. I almost didn`t make it I was so shy and scared of showing myself up, but somehow I got inside. Johnny`s father took us into a room which was full from wall to wall of trophies, photo`s, paintings etc... it was Johnny`s room and I just "knew" he was there with us making sure everything went right for us. But I wasn`t prepared for what happened next!. Johnny`s mother came over and before I knew what was happening we were crying on each other`s shoulders, it was very emotional. Then as we sat down, a familiar beautiful fluffy white dog came running into the room, straight over to me and placed his head on my lap looking up sadly at me... meanwhile Johnny`s father froze to the spot worried at what the dog would be like- aparently he wasn`t always very friendly, even with family, but I think he could sense Johnny with me and he too needed some comfort, he was grieving as well... (and of course I still say to this day he knew we had met before!) My mum took a lovely photo of his head on my lap, and also one of Johnny`s parents, one of his father and sister, and one of his sister and me, I treasure them all to this day. We were given hot drinks, cakes and sandwiches and sat for ages talking and being told fond memories of Johnny. His father gave me another autographed photo, which was different from the one Johnny gave "uncle" for me... those gorgeous eyes seemed to call out to me from the picture and again I burst into tears, clutching the photo to my heart as I did so. Later I noticed a pile of records and on the top was Donny Osmond`s "Puppy Love". Johnny`s father noticed the surprised look on my face and said they were Johnny`s records and that was one of his favourites! (Johnny has confirmed this to me, but Donny has brought out a newer version since then, which Johnny says he prefers.) It has always been one of my favourites too, it looks like it was destined to be "our song"!. (Although now we think "Why" is more appropriate, we aren`t "Puppies" anymore!) How about this though... Would you believe that Donny Osmond, "our" favourite singer, has been researching his family tree, and has located his family roots back to Wales. Not only that, but to Merthyr Tydfil, Johnny`s home town!. Donny is doing a one off show in Merthyr Tydfil in June 2007... guess who booked a ticket as soon as they went on sale :-). I will be going by myself, but won`t be "alone"! (Update... despite raining all day the 9 hour wait in the rain for Donny`s 2 hour performance was well worth it. He was fantastic as always. Johnny and I thoroughly enjoyed the show and can`t wait for Donny to return to Merthyr. You can see photo`s I took of the show HERE) Getting back to Johnny`s house... before we left, Johnny`s father wrote two phone numbers on the back of the photo, one for the house and one for the shop in case I phoned and they were there. He asked us to keep in touch and although we didn`t make a habit of phoning each other, we did keep in touch by letter, christmas cards etc, and we arranged to visit them again whenever possible. There was one night though, 20th May 1991, when Johnny`s father phoned me out of the blue. He didn`t know why he phoned but had felt he needed to and that I needed someone to talk to. He asked if everything was alright as he had a feeling it wasn`t. I couldn`t bring myself to tell him but my dad was in hospital dying... he died the following day telling me Johnny was sitting next to me with his arms around me. I hadn`t said anything to my dad because I knew he didn`t believe in spirits and I didn`t want to scare him, but I already knew because I could feel Johnny with me! I since found out Johnny had managed to get his father to phone me that night, I never did find out if his father knew this, neither of us ever mentioned anything spiritual so I don`t know how his family feel about it. I would love to find out, it would be wonderful if it could all be brought out into the open and I find out they believe, and above all- believe me! Mum and I often travelled to Johnny`s town by train so I could take some flowers to his grave. I had been given permission to place a vase on the grave and someone made me one shaped like a boxing glove. I placed it on the grave but the next time I went someone had moved it next to the family ones on the headstone. Unfortunately the time after that it was gone, I think maybe it wasn`t frost proof and had sufferred weather damage, but Johnny`s father said I can use any available space in the existing vases if I want (not that there is ever any room for more flowers, Johnny`s family constantly keep the vases beautifully stocked with fresh flowers, which I love to see). Although we often visited Johnny`s grave, sadly we didn`t always have time to visit his family, as we had to catch the last train home and only had a couple of hours to do what we came for. One day we didn`t have any sandwiches with us, so we had to find somewhere to eat. We went looking for a place to eat and found a burger bar in town, in fact we seemed to be led to it as we didn`t know it was there- yet went straight to it as if we had been there before. Imagine what happened when I realised Johnny`s sister was working there and we got talking. I didn`t realise it, but another sister was also there, but as we hadn`t met properly before, she didn`t come over not knowing who we were. We were told we were welcome to go and see their parents but sadly we didn`t have time, although we would have loved to. I also don`t like just dropping in on people without arranging it first, so we explained and said we will try another time, and asked her to please say hello and give our love to her family. Johnny`s father later told me how both sisters had been in the burger bar when we were there, he had been told we were seen and had been given our message. One day we arrived for our regular visit to town when we accidentally met "Uncle". He decided he would "escort" us around. He took me to the cemetery and took us to his house for a while. Later he said he was glad he met us, as he had a surprise for me. He said we have to go out for it and he would take us there later. In the evening he took us in the car to a pub which had been named "The Matchstick Man", in tribute to Johnny (That was his nic-name). We went inside and there were loads of photo`s and memorabilia and it brought tears to my eyes. I have tried to find the pub again since but never had any luck, all I know is it was a newer red brick building and was somewhere in or around Merthyr!. I have asked people I know about it and they don`t seem to remember it or seem to think I imagined it. In the end I began to think so myself, and even started to wonder if it had been a dream as it seemed to disappear without trace. However, recently Johnny reminded me about it and assured me it was real and did exist!. (Update... I am sure I have found the pub, at least it`s in the right area and is a newer red brick building and looks very like the pub I`m referring to. Unfortunately the name has changed, that`s upsetting for someone who loves Johnny so much, but I know pubs get new owners and new names all the time and it has been almost 27 years. The pub I found is called "The Great Escape" and if it`s not the one then it`s very like it. I will be trying to find out one way or the other and if it`s not, I won`t give up trying to find the right one!.) My real uncle took us to see Johnny`s family a few times afterwards. One day when we arrived Johnny`s two younger brothers were watching a video and their father asked them to turn it off whilst we talked. I felt awful about that and hope they managed to see it afterwards (sorry guys!). When I got a seasonal job at a pony trekking centre in Wales, my dad took us to see them before taking me to the centre. I don`t know if the two dads realised they had met before but they got on great straight away!. I had pre-arranged to see them that day, and Johnny`s father had taken Johnny`s Lonsdale and Dave Crowley belts out of the local museum so I can see them. I was so proud to hold them but it was very emotional too. I could "feel" Johnny`s vibes from the Lonsdale belt as I held it. Then his father tried to put the Lonsdale belt on me for a photo... big mistake!. He did it up securely but it promptly went straight down over my hips and onto my toes, ouch!... so I just held the two belts whilst his father took photo`s!. My dad, who had been a boxer in the army, was also very proud to have had the opportunity to hold the belts. I remember thinking it was odd how I didn`t "feel" anything from the Dave Crowley belt, but didn`t give it any more thought until writing this page and it came back to me how it had only been the Lonsdale. So I asked Johnny and he told me he had never seen or handled the Dave Crowley, it was a memorial belt given to families of boxers who die from boxing accidents or injuries. I didn`t know that and had thought it was one of Johnny`s many titles... but that explains it! (Johnny said Dave Crowley was a boxer who had sufferred a similar fate as himself and the belt is given in his memory. I don`t know anything about Dave Crowley but I believe and trust what Johnny tells me). I have also been to see the Lonsdale belt in the family`s local museum where it is on display with his gloves, shorts, photo and a few trophies... those same "vibes" surrounded me as I stood next to the display cabinet, even through glass!. However it had taken me literally years to bring myself to go and see them, especially his gloves. I was nervous at seeing them because of their significance and what they represent. Johnny had wanted me to go to the museum for some time and had been telling me it will be alright and to trust him, but it was very hard to go and face them. Afterwards I communicated with him and he said he was very pleased how I had finally confronted my fears. I said I had been worried about seeing the gloves because of what they are and what they were used for, and I said I didn`t want to have "visions" of them boxing or hitting out. Johnny said "They didn`t hit me, did they?" then it dawned on me- no, they were his gloves, they had never hurt him (intentionally), so what had I been so afraid of?. "Oh, yes, of course!" I said, feeling rather idiotic... "K you are so silly sometimes, but I do love you!" he said!. By the way, Johnny was the first Welshman to win the European & Commonwealth Bantamweight titles, and as far as I know also the first Welshman to win the Lonsdale Belt outright by winning it three times in a row... I think he is possibly still the ONLY Welshman to have done so! :-) Johnny did once say the only thing worrying him about us, was that had we got together in this life, would I have tried to stop him boxing? The answer was no, I would never stand in his way. I didn`t like it, but I love him and would accept anything that made him happy. All I ever would have wanted was for him to be happy, and that was what boxing did for him. He also said he wouldn`t have wanted to disappoint his father. He said he had promised him he wouldn`t have girlfriends just yet so he could concentrate on his career first, and would I have understood this? The answer was yes, and I would have been prepared to wait as long as I had to. He told me he would have been "due for retirement" soon, maybe just a few more fights. He asked if it would have made any difference to me. I reassured him, no, it was him I love, whether he was boxing, in a shop, in an office, postman, dustman, milkman, window cleaner, street cleaner, unemployed or anything else, it made no difference to me. He was happy then and said I "passed the test"! I always remember something a close friend of mine said to me once. She was the only one I confided in after Johnny died, she knew there was more to it than I had ever revealed, and one day I felt I needed to talk about it and she is a good listener. She asked me to think carefully and only answer truthfully- "Could you have happily spent the rest of your life with Johnny if you had the chance?"... I didn`t need to think about it, I already knew the answer was "Yes". To this she said there is a good chance we are soulmates. Then she asked "Could you spend the rest of your life without him?". Again I didn`t need to think, the answer was a definate "NO!"... She told me then she believed we definately had a soulmate connection, to truthfully answer "no" to that question can only come from genuine soulmate devotion. It took me eleven years to finally agree to go out with anyone. Johnny often said to me via mediums that he wanted me to be happy, and if that meant me marrying someone else he didn`t mind, it would only be for this life and then I would be his and he would be mine forever. Then I met someone, but there was something missing, that instant attraction known as "chemistry" that I only ever got with Johnny. However, we went to see a medium together and Johnny said he had guided us to meet and gave his blessing, that we would be married within a year. I cried, not because I was happy, but because it was the last thing I wanted him to say. I thought it meant he wanted to move on and I didn`t want to stand in his way but I was destroyed inside. Anyway to cut a long story short, we were married within a year. But although I have tried, I just cannot let myself love anyone, even my husband, like I still love Johnny. He is my soulmate, my destiny, my everything, and I am not happy, I will never be truly happy until we are together. You can`t lose your soulmate, the only man you KNOW you will ever truly love, and ever get over it, it`s impossible. Even though Johnny had promised that day via the medium that no matter what, he will always stay with me, I lost contact for several years and started thinking he had moved on. Having a young family and moving away from home meant I didn`t have anyone to use the Ouija with, and I couldn`t get out to see any mediums. Then we decided to move to Wales, something I had dreamed of for years. Within days of moving here Johnny was talking to me, sending signs, and making it known he is still around. It`s as if moving closer to his roots opened up our spiritual gateway, and we have never let it close on us again!. Johnny and I are joined at the soul, he is going nowhere without me and I am going nowhere without him. Recently he told me he would be lost without me and that he knew I felt the same... he`s right, again! We are inseperable and will remain closely spiritually bonded until the day we are reunited forever. Johnny is, always will be and always has been in my heart, mind, soul, past, present, future, and all my eternity!. I had often said how I wished I could communicate with him myself rather than have to rely on mediums. Now he was showing me I could do exactly that, but he also told me I am to become a medium and work with him helping others. I told him I only wanted to be able to communicate with him for "us", but he said that was being selfish, he`s right, as usual! When we were first back in contact I told him I thought he had moved on. He told me I was mistaken, he was always with me and always will be, as long as it takes until we are together. He said he will never ever leave me. One day I was going through old papers and came across the book I had started. I read it through and because it was started from "dreams" and he had been alive and well at the time, it was far too painful to continue so I put it away again. He told me several times to continue it but I never could, eventually I threw it away and forgot it. We kept in touch and much more information about our destiny became known to us over the following years. He has started teaching me things he is finding out about our past lives. I know which one had been our happiest life together, which had been our longest life together, and another, more recently, in which I had lost him far too soon as in this life. He assures me he knows exactly how I feel, he has lost me first in several past lives and can remember the pain vividly. We have discovered that our soulmate partnership spans several millennia and that we have been together in many lifetimes. We also know that eventually we will be reunited and will spend all eternity together, which gives me great comfort. He has promised me that no matter what, he will remain with me as my soulmate, guide, companion and spirit partner until the day I join him, then we will never be parted again...I can`t wait for that day to come! We remain in daily contact and our bond is such that now not only do we communicate via Ouija, our main source of communication, but I can now hear him, see him, feel him and sense him, and it`s wonderful! His energy is "knock-out", most people think of spiritual energy as cold, not Johnny... whenever he is around I feel extremely warm, loved and protected, in fact the stronger our bond becomes, the hotter his energy is!. We have a very strong and constant spiritual connection and can communicate telepathically. This is great because we can "talk" in public and no-one ever needs to know... although I have had a few strange looks from people when he has suddenly said something that makes me laugh, or hugged me and I have nearly fallen over feeling him "pulling" me towards himself and finding myself leaning over uncontrollably!. Johnny is a wonderful calming influence on me. Unlike a lot of Welsh people, who talk so fast it`s sometimes hard to understand what has been said (no offense meant, I love to hear it) - Johnny talks in a beautifully calm relaxed and soothing manner, instantly putting me at my ease and feeling a unique inner peace that I only get from him. There is just one "problem", we are so close that sometimes I accidentally "connect" to him just by trying to close my eyes or relax for a few seconds. This is unintentional but instant, and not always a good thing. Sometimes he is in the middle of a fight when it happens and he quickly tells me "not now"! and I break the connection. I feel awful about it and hope I haven`t broken his concentration, but he knows it wasn`t deliberate and always forgives me!. Other times he connects to me accidentally!. Johnny says "We have psychic broadband ... always connected!" and he`s right again!. Johnny has asked me to point out that he is with me all the time, he even stays all night with me. One morning I woke up and saw him laying next to me. He was wearing his boxer`s robe and it was slightly open at the top. I was concerned he would get cold as it was a cold frosty morning. Instinctively I reached out to close the robe and he put his hand on mine as I did so. We looked into each other`s eyes but then he faded away. It was only then I realised I had just had a spiritual experience and seen him in spirit, it just felt so natural and right to wake up next to him that it hadn`t even dawned on me until he faded away!. When I asked him later he confirmed it was real. He said he was as pleased I had seen him as I was at seeing him, unfortunately he couldn`t keep up the energy any longer, but that he was still there even though I could no longer see him. Johnny has even appeared in photographs I have taken. There is one of my children at his grave where I can see him standing between them in a typical boxer`s pose, as if being photographed with two young fans. In another one, I was taking photo`s of crystals for this website. The silvery reflective surface of the Hematite actually shows me sitting at the table as I was, and someone standing behind me as if leaning over my shoulder watching... there was no-one in the room with me (physically) but I instantly knew it was Johnny, he confirmed it when I asked. One day I was sitting on the beach at Porthcawl. Suddenly I heard his voice to the left of me calling my name, I looked round but felt I needed to look upwards, there in the sky above me was his face in the clouds, looking down smiling. Sadly it took me a while to get the camera set up and all that was left was part of his face. It`s a terrible photo as I had to take it directly into the sun, but he can still be recognised!. When the rainbow followed me along the shore of Pontsticill reservoir, a friend of mine looking at the photo`s in an email said she can see a face next to the rainbow. I hadn`t seen anything and was just showing her the rainbow and telling her it had followed me. When I checked I could see his eye clearly but not all his face. But when I showed someone else the photo`s, I never mentioned anything, and when he got to that one he said "God, that looks like Johnny Owen in the sky!" Incidentally the first friend to see him in the photo and point him out to me knew nothing at all about him or us. All she said was "There`s someone in the photo next to the rainbow." I then told her rainbows mean a lot to me and "Spectrum" (I still wasn`t using his earth name to people then) and she said she felt it would be Spectrum in the photo. What she said next was the clincher. She said "But I`m confused, he is showing a black eye which must have some significance but I don`t know what. I know your Spectrum is a good kind soul, why would he show a black eye?. Had he been in a fight or accident or had someone hit him?. I then replied "He is actually Wales` greatest ever champion boxer... (and Britains, Europes, Commonwealths and as far as I`m concerned, The World`s!!!)... aparently he was very proud of the first black eye he ever received (his father told me that!)...in her replying email I could almost hear her screaming, her excitement came through loud and clear!. Another time I needed "Bubble" photo`s for a photo assignment. I got my daughter to blow a big bubble with a wand and detergent water and took photo`s. In one of them is a reflection of a white dog face. My dog wasn`t in the room because he kept trying to attack the bubbles so I put him outside to take photo`s, besides his face isn`t completely white. The only all white dog I know was Johnny`s dog, and Johnny later confirmed it had been him. When I let my dog into the room later he was sniffing around that area but I didn`t know what for, when I saw the dog in the bubble it all made sense! (As I write about the photo`s he has actually just told me to add them to the page, bear with me and I will try to find them to add later!) Johnny also gives me little surprises now and then, especially if I am feeling low and need reassurance. One day I was preparing sunday dinner and had to open a new bag of baby potatoes. The bag split awkwardly and some potatoes fell on the floor. One though somehow managed to roll across the counter and stop right in front of me. When I picked it up I was instantly thrown into a fit of hysterical laughter (Johnny has a wonderful sense of humour). It was perfectly shaped like a miniature boxing glove. I couldn`t bring myself cook it and it had shrivelled beyond recognition before I could bring myself to throw it away, but I had got photo`s of it!. The potato is doubly relevant, not just the boxing glove, but Johnny`s shop was a greengrocer shop ,so potatoes would have been significant to him!. Another day I was working in the garden when I noticed my Marguerite`s needed tidying up. As I was doing so, I saw a perfect J.O in the centre of one of the flowers, again I have preserved it in photo`s!. One night while we were communicating on the Ouija, the candle suddenly almost went out for no aparent reason. It made me look at it, but I had a feeling I was to look deeper at it than just a glance. Suddenly I noticed in the wax were a J and an O, as if they had been carved into it... as I noticed them the flame came back and continued burning like nothing had happened!. I got a photo as a keepsake!. There have been many more things but sadly too quick or I had no camera handy to take any photo`s. :-( I have been very moved and proud to have received beautiful statues of Johnny carved out of Welsh coal, which his parents had sent as gifts. I was also very proud to have been invited to join the family the day they held a memorial service and unveiled a beautiful life sized bronze statue in town. (Johnny`s family had invited his final opponent to help unveil the statue. I`m afraid I couldn`t bring myself to get close or to meet him afterwards. Even though I feel Johnny`s father probably hoped I would have, I couldn`t bring myself to do so out of love and loyalty for Johnny). There are other items I have been given by members of Johnny`s family and I wish to thank them for all their kindness and generosity over the years, I am extremely proud to know them and they are like a second family to me. If I have any regrets apart from being too shy to talk to him when we first met, or get to know him properly when I had the chance, it`s that I haven`t managed to get around to finding out how his family feel about the spiritual side. I would dearly love to be able to reassure them that he is well and still fighting (and winning) in spirit, and that he is always with us all. I would love to be able to give them his love and any messages he might have for them, but the subject never comes up, and I don`t want to persue it and risk losing their friendship if they don`t like it or don`t believe me- or worse, think I am mad. I would love to tell them about our spiritual and soulmate relationship and that I have been with "Spectrum", who was Johnny in this life- for thousands of years, and that we are still very closely bonded and will always be, no matter what!. But anyway Johnny and I always agreed never to reveal it, and I respect him and his family too much to do so. Why am I telling it all now? well, read on and I will tell you... But first, getting back to the book I was writing. Johnny told me many times to start it again, he wanted me to finish it and have it published. Over time I realised he wasn`t going to let it rest, so I reluctantly agreed to start again. However, as it was originally written "about us" from "dreams" and "wishful thinking" I told him things will have to be changed, which he agreed. But I wasn`t prepared for what he then told me. He said that the "dreams" were not dreams. After "meeting" him, memories of past lives had been coming back to me, and since he died he has been taking me back to past lives in dreams or astral travel, to "see" us together. Although we have always looked quite similar in each life, our eyes and "energy" have always been identical. I had woken and remembered the details and imagined them as being dreams and wishful thinking. He said everything I had written was real, just not from this lifetime, and that he wanted everything to be put in writing for people to read about the beauty of a true soulmate bond. I must tell you I cried for days, all my hopes and dreams had in fact been memories of us, Spectrum & Rainbow, together- how beautiful is that!. When he said that he wants me to start the book again, he also said that he will help me with it. Thankfully I now had the computer so it was much easier than before when I only had an old manual typewriter. We decided to change certain things, like names, places, his profession, type of shop etc, and not to start from the campers but as if we first met in the shop. Certain things were not to be included because it was now to be written as a fictional novel, using bits from various past lives and some things from this life coming in here and there. Some characters were to be based on real people, others were fictional. I had no idea how these things were going to fall into place, but I needn`t have worried. As I sat at the computer for hours on end each day, the words just literally flowed automatically and we finished the book I had begun over 25 years before, within a couple of weeks of restarting it together. Reading it back there is no way I could have written those words, but I recognised every single thing that I read as if I was there, it all came back to me and made perfect sense. Most of the book is actually based on us in our last life before this one. Again I had lost him far too soon, but under different circumstances. What we have done instead is make it a sporting accident as in this life, but a different sport. By now the rainbow connection and our spiritual names had been discovered, so we agreed the book would stress the importance of the rainbows. The most significant rainbow in the book is also from the last life before this one. Obviously we had to bring things up to date and introduce things like computers, compact disks and digital cameras, which were not around in our past lives! When it was time to name the book we decided together on "Rainbows of Love", because all our rainbows are given and received with great love. Then I needed a pen name as we agreed it was unwise to use my own name. Johnny suggested "Iris" (Goddess of the rainbow) but left it to me to find a surname. It took me weeks as I couldn`t think of anything I liked with Iris, the only thing I felt remotely went with it was my star sign, Virgo. Johnny liked it so it was decided!. All we had to do now was get it published, but I have no way of funding a "proper" publisher. I was glad when friends told me about "CafePress", they will print the book on demand and it doesn`t cost me anything. Johnny has also helped me produce a book about my spiritual experiences, psychic awakening & development, our spiritual partnership and soulmate relationship. It is also available at CafePress.The second book is called "Realm of Rainbows". At the same time as writing the first book, he was also helping and encouraging me to publish this website, where we can share all our experiences and tell of our spiritual work and hopefully reach out to help and encourage people, or provide much needed comfort. As with the book he provided most of the words, but I noticed again a lot of it relates to past lives. I was worried about people maybe recognising "us" from the website, and they might know what we have told about us is not from this life, but not knowing about our past lives, they may think I`m lying or making it all up!. I told him my fears but he says I have to point out that everything you read on this website is true, there are no lies or make believe. He says that our bond is such that there is no distinction between lifetimes, they all flow into each other and everything is as if in one life. Therefore we write about everything as if it was only yesterday, for us there is no difference!. I asked him what did he think his father would say, he told me his father had guessed there was more to "us" than I had let him know. Sadly I didn`t have a chance to bring the subject up, his father joined him last year. He did ask me to only use our spiritual names though in order to protect identities. I respect him and his family too much to do otherwise, so we both agreed to keep certain information private. However, recently he had a change of mind and spent several weeks trying to persuade me to reveal everything, including his identity. He said he is fed up trying to keep it from getting out. He says we are doing nothing wrong and that we have nothing to hide and why should we hide the truth anyway?. Our love is indestructable, our bond is unbreakable and we are inseperable. Johnny says if people don`t like or disbelieve what they read it`s their problem, not ours. It took a great deal of persuasion from him before I finally gave in. I know he is right but I am thinking of his family and possible problems that it might cause by revealing everything. I wanted to first try and "test the waters" with his family and see how they feel about it all, break it to them gently about us before going any further, but he was insistant and wouldn`t hear of it, he wanted us to declare our love and bring everything out into the open without any further delay, so reluctantly and under protest I agreed. ( I also have a husband and children who don`t know the full extent of our love... yet! ) I already had a page on the website with information about myself. He wanted me to add the same information about him, and also other things about him, to which I added the same about me to make it equal. The information about him on the page is in his own words. The last time I visited Johnny`s parents, his father was talking about the memorial service and the statue. Then he told me that before that day he thought people were beginning to forget about Johnny, but that seeing so many people, not just those invited to the service but practically the whole town, out in the rain to see the unveiling and join in with the tribute to Johnny, had moved him and made him realise Johnny is still greatly loved and missed. I could see he was visibly moved and had a hard job keeping the tears at bay myself. But I would just like to add a personal statement, Johnny will NEVER be forgotten... not if I have anything to do with it, and I know his devoted family feel the same. JOHNNY`S VERSION Johnny helped me type out all the above, but it is really my version of events as it was for me. Recently we have been communicating with another couple like ourselves and Johnny, for the first time ever, told how it was for him ... he agreed with me afterwards it would be nice to add to our story so other`s can read it... so here is Johnny`s version... We have been communicating for much of the 27 years since I came over, but have only been learning and working together for the past 5 years. K has always been a believer, but in the early days she relied on other mediums. Although she always wanted to talk to me herself she didn`t realise she could... and then after the first connection happened she started getting the self doubt and confidence issues which we are still working on for her. Our first contact was very emotional for us. We both knew there was more to our feelings for each other than we realised or understood... we still regret never having acted on our feelings and got to know each other before I came over, but we didn`t know the truth at the time, we lived in different parts of UK and were both too stupidly shy to do anything about it anyway... man what idiots!!! When I crossed over in 1980 I was told the truth and was advised that it was our soul contract. I was reminded that K is my soulmate/twinflame, that we had agreed on the life I just left behind and everything that had happened, and that it could be our final incarnation if we wished. I was given a choice, I could stay with K until our reunion or I could "cross over" and wait until we meet again, whenever that would be. Man there was no contest, I didn`t feel there was a choice to make, I wanted/needed my K and I came straight back to find her. The poor girl was a wreck. It had been a long period of hurt and adjustment for her, I had been in a coma for several weeks before I came over, in all that time she hadn`t eaten, slept or functioned properly. When I came over it was too much for her to handle, she has since told me she felt part of her died too, like she had been ripped apart from the inside, deep inside, and she didn`t know how, or even think she wanted to survive!. Anyway when I found her she was actually doing glass divination with her mother. She was in contact with her grandfather, who was watching over her until I took over. She was trying to find out how I was, if I was safe and okay... when I came through to her myself the emotion and intensity of it was incredible. I told her the full story and we vowed to each other we will stay together no matter what, so that when she comes over we will never ever have to part again!. When I told her how much I have always loved her since the moment our eyes first met back in the early 1970`s, I was afraid she might not have felt the same, but man.... she cried her heart out and told me she felt exactly the same but was always afraid I wouldn`t! We remained in contact with glass divination and other mediums for 11 years. Then I was reminded about our soul contract. We were supposed to learn to work together and not just communicate for ourselves. I was told I had to train to be K`s main guide and protector, but it would mean we would have to stop communicating for a while and I was not allowed to tell her until afterwards. I didn`t want her to be lonely so I stupidly guided her into meeting someone for friendship. I got them to visit a medium to tell K I guided them together for temporary companionship... but the medium misread and told her I wanted them to get married. K cried, she thought I was leaving her, so she married the guy thinking it was what I wanted!. Of course she stopped spirit contact because she felt there was no-one here to contact anyway... but that at least gave me the time to start my training so I could talk to and work with her, although I never actually left her. Well I did my training and I tried and tried to connect to my beloved but she was blocked. Because she thought I had left her, she didn`t want anything spiritual because if I wasn`t there it was too painful to comprehend. Then she started a family... it was so hard watching her struggle with her need and grief for me at the same time as trying not to do so and get on with her life. She clearly was desperately unhappy, I could hear and feel her silent cries and yearning for me, I was trying to get through to comfort her but couldn`t, man it was awful. She also had some really terrible experiences which I would have dearly loved to help get her through emotionally, although I had helped spiritually at the time, she didn`t know it!. Several years passed, I had tried everything I could and didn`t know what else I could do. Then I remembered how she always felt so at home and "in tune" when she came to Wales, our connection was always strong but even more so here. I started to give hints about Wales, make her find old photo`s, television adverts about visiting Wales, memories of being here etc. Eventually she took the hint and told her husband she wants to move to Wales!. He is Welsh himself so just assumed it was because of him (lol that made it easy!), they moved here several months later. Then I remembered how I guided her to my grave with a rainbow long ago and how she said she does love rainbows. It dawned on me that I had learned my soul name is Spectrum and hers is Rainbow... surely a rainbow will waken her memories and hopefully her psychic senses, so I started to show her more rainbows!. That was it... she finally realised I was still with her and trying to connect with her... she opened up to me and the emotions and intensity were just like the first time we connected... it was electrifying!. I explained I hadn`t left her but we were supposed to work together and I had to learn how to guide and protect her... I told her she wasn`t supposed to marry the guy but we will have to work around him and her family now, it wasn`t a problem just a temporary setback!. However I soon realised how unhappy she was being married to him when she and I both know she belongs to and with me. We tried to make it work but she was getting more and more depressed... so I promised I will help her find a way out if she wanted. She did... I put my plan into action for her and last year finally he agreed to separate and K and I now share a house as our own, with her children and the dog!. We are now free to learn, work and grow together and it`s great. I have asked K to change her surname to mine when she can finally get divorced ... she wants to do that for me and we can`t wait!. If nothing else this setback has made us closer and stronger. We know for sure how much we truly love each other by the things we have done with and for each other, and I know how much she really believes in and trusts me... especially since she trusted me to resolve the marriage problem, and she accepted a house without question, which I had promised her and got for us... without even seeing a photo of it... now, that`s trust!. ... So there you have the story so far... but ours is a never ending story, so regular updates are often added... and so the story continues... However, because this part of the website was becoming extremely text intensive and very long, we have decided to combine all updates with our online journal. We were updating both "Our Story", and "Rainbow`s Journal" here on our website, plus our Journal at "Bravenet", which besides being rather time consuming, was becoming confusing and often included the same updates... As from November 2007 all previous updates have been moved to our Bravenet Journal, Rainbow`s Journal will remain as it was but no more updates will be posted on the website. All future updates will be placed at Bravenet which will make it easier for us and for you!.... To visit our Bravenet Journal please click HERE Or to see some photo`s which Johnny wanted me to add to go with some of the above
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